What does it mean to be at your best?

Melissa Rosenthal
3 min readJan 29, 2021
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Every coaching engagement begins with a question. The question that each client is asking themselves, their reason for reaching out. The articulation of the question varies from person to person but almost always the underlying sentiment is connected by a single wish. The wish for something to be different. To be better.

It could be the desire to improve a particular skill, relationships with important colleagues or stakeholders or developing new ways of thinking about strategic, cultural or leadership-related challenges. The frame will vary depending, among other things, on the level of experience and the context for each person.

Regardless of the specific frame, this initial question prompts a natural follow up…“What does better look and feel like?”

I like to extend that idea even further. Rather than talking about “better”, I’m curious about the potential for “best”.

When you’re at your best…what will it mean for you? And how will it change others’ experience of working with you?

Now we’re getting somewhere! Usually, at this point, a challenge comes back my way. Something akin to “best sounds great, but how is that even possible?” This is where the real work begins. This is the point where we start to delve into the inputs required to achieve “best”. It’s not easy.

Try this quick exercise…Grab a pen and paper. You’ve got 60 seconds. Write down all the things you need to do (or not do) to be at your best. Go!

How did you go? What are your reflections as you look at the list? Does the list feel “right”? And how many of the items are happening consistently?

Your list will probably change depending on whether we’re talking about a specific event, like the really important meeting you have on Monday or thinking more broadly about what it means to be at your best from week to week or month to month, for yourself, your team or your family. It can help to have a “go-to” checklist — a tool that creates the structure and discipline to accelerate your thinking for any particular scenario.

Here are some questions that you can use to build your checklist:

Intent — Do I have clarity about my goal(s) for a particular scenario or timeframe?

  • What am I trying to achieve? For whom?
  • What impression would I like/do I need to create? How can I achieve that?
  • What (or who) are the most important thing (or people) for me to focus on?
  • What should I endeavour to avoid doing or being?

Preparation — What does it mean to be “ready” for what I’m about to do?

  • What information do I need to be across? Or have at hand?
  • Who do I need to talk to? What do I need to talk to them about? What is my “ask” and what is my “give”?
  • What objections or challenges am I likely to face? How might I overcome them?

Energy — What do I need to be “top of my game” today?

  • How much sleep do I need?
  • What role will exercise play in my energy and concentration? What about food?
  • What techniques help me stay focused? When and how will I deploy them?
  • Who are the people that give me energy?

Reflection — How am I doing?

  • How well am I delivering my intent? To what extent have I been doing what I said I’d do?
  • How effective was my plan? Where has it gone well?
  • What have I learned? What do I need to change?

These questions are intended to give you a starting point. To trigger some thoughts about what it takes to be at your best. Have you got some better ones? Or do you think about it differently? I’d love to know. Send me an email and let me know how you create opportunities to be at your best.

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